Why Mary Walling Blackburn is wrong

     "Sister Apple, Sister Pig" is a misguided rationalization for abortion. The story states that the "sister who is a happy ghost" was aborted and perhaps Lee's parents will have another child when they have more money and more time.  The abortion was done so it must have been in the best interest of everyone involved.  My heart was greatly disturbed by the sad attempt of the author to explain why her own "ghost sister" was rightly aborted.We human beings are masters of justification.  We can, even with great effort, talk ourselves into or out of anything.  The saddest thing about the story is 3 year old Lee's longing for his sister.  Despite his attempts to reason why his sister isn't alive, he wants her to be present.  He longs for her.  There is a piece to his family puzzle missing and he knows it.

Real Children, Real Losses

  
     Sometimes the hurt in a person's heart runs so deep and buried it cannot be readily accessed and felt till many years after an event.  Even then, when it's later felt, it can be quickly shoved back down or rationalized away.  The pain is of such a nature, that if it is not dismissed, is likely to crush the person where they stand.  The realization that they have murdered their own child is a hefty weight to bare.  They do not have ghost children, but very real children that they have lost by their own hand.  Make no mistake, the psychic distress caused by abortion is real.  Unlike what the author would want you to perceive.  Yes, I'm aware the internet is filled with women who say that abortion has done them no harm.  They speak of a feeling of relief and are often outspoken in favor of abortion.  However, the people who champion abortion the most are the ones who have been hurt by it the worst.  Initial relief is felt because the "problem" has been taken care of.
     Unlike removing a splinter from the flesh which can cause pain and infection.  The man and woman have removed a human being, not some inanimate object.  They build a fragile wall of justification, not realizing they are their own worst enemy.  The feelings of freedom and empowerment they feel will only be temporary because they will one day have to come to grips with the reality that those temporary feelings were built upon the blood of their children.  True freedom comes only when we heal, ask for forgiveness, and accept forgiveness.  True empowerment comes from admitting our wrongs and do our best to correct them.  It truly does humanity an injustice to deny just how much harm abortion really does to men and women.

     Denial About the True Face of the Abortive

     What does the face of an abortive woman or man look like?  Planned Parenthood's website estimates that 3 out of 10 women will have an abortion by the time they are 45.  The CDC estimates that roughly 45% of all abortions done in the US are repeat abortions.  Keep in mind that the number of abortions done through Planned Parenthood do not have to be reported to any governmental agency, it a voluntary report.  The numbers are much greater in all reality.  Better estimates are around 1.2 million abortions in the US every year.  The drug abuser, the prostitute, your mother, your daughter, your father, your son, your friend.  I guess you can get the picture.  Chances are we all know someone who has had or been touched by abortion, even if we don't know it.
     I will tell you in talking to many women who've had abortions, it truly is not that uncommon for women to be having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, or greater abortion.  Do me a favor.  Go to your mirror and look at it.  You are looking at the face of someone who's had an abortion.  Someone just like you, with your life, and yes, even your values.  The young teen who was in love and thought the best way to show it was to have sex.  Never even considering pregnancy might result or what they would do if it did.  The underage girl who was molested and now carries the child of that violent act.  The college girl date raped only to find the pain and confusion increased by facing the shock of a pregnancy and baby they never expected.  The young couple in love who knew they were going to get married and passion carried them away and into a pregnancy.  The young professional who was always so careful, but damnit, the birth control failed. The couple having an affair on their spouses, and everything was terrific until the love affair got spanked with reality when those two pink lines showed up on the test. The person who was religious and believed in being pro-life.  Until they faced an impossible circumstance and shame and fear blinded them making them see no way out.  The husband and wife who decided it just wasn't the right time, because their wasn't enough money, or their marriage is not stable.  Sometimes the husband or wife believes more children will cramp their style.
     The face of abortive men and women are those who buy into the false fantasy of choice, but in reality they choose abortion because they feel they have no choice.  Shame, fear, shock, guilt, humiliation, anger, uncertainty, perceived loss of present and future aspirations and goals, disappointing others and self, pressure from friends and family, and confusion are the choosers of abortion.  The reality is, no matter how hard the path, how desperate the situation, there is always a way out of the "impossible".  There is always a way.  There is always hope. Just remember that.   

    

 From Conception to Natural Death, All Life has Value

  
     Before the book's dedication, Blackburn says, "Masochists, look elsewhere; between these pages you will not find the “luxury of grief,”1 culpability’s sharp sting or salty guilt." 

1

Within

Man at Play

(1923) Karl Groos allocates one section to a cursory

investigation of “the luxury of grief” within European contexts. Groos describes

a bourgeois individual who draws upon distress as a form of play, aiming for a

certain “mental suffering, a feeling of suspension between pain and pleasure.”

Lee, Sister Apple, Sister Pig’s protagonist, allays the possibility of repressed

psychic distress by the active formation of an ally born of that anxiety and Lee

does this without lingering in the interstitial space between pleasure and pain.

Is there a political stratagem here...when sorrow and fear become light and

    active?

Such a try at cleverness by Blackburn, but such a thin facade that hides denial and deep seated pain and loss of the greatest degree.  What she is really saying is, do not feel.  Exist in a numb state where you don't have to subject yourself to unpleasant or trying experiences.  Pain is part of life.  It is reality.  The pain that leads people to choose abortion is real.  The pain of having an abortion is real.  There is no escaping it.  We are culpable for our actions and darn it we should be.  Guilt is a proper feeling resulting from a well formed conscience.  What is the worth of one child over the other?  If you're spouse lost their job and you were destitute, would you. like woodsman in the fairy tale Hansel and Gretel, take one or more of your children into the woods to perish?  No!  You would be called a murderer and child abuser.  If all life isn't sacred, then no life is sacred.  
     What I think it all boils down to is how the man or woman who has chosen to abort their child views the value of their own life.  Does their own life hold infinite value?  Do they truly believed they are loved, beloved, and sacred?  Are they unashamedly believers in the love God has for us poor sinners as we are?  The answer is no.  If they do not see the value in their own personhood, they will be able to lessen the value of that baby they carry.  And isn't it easy when you can 't visibly perceive the life inside you.  You can't see, feel, or hold that life.  It's easy to call something by another name to ease our minds.
      Pro-life as well as Pro-choice individuals are very aware of the film Silent Scream.  In abortion, a woman's body is violated in an incredible violent act.  The silent scream of their unborn baby as their life is terminated.  I tell you now, that pain is only rivaled by that in the mother's heart and father's soul.  Often that pain is silenced out of self-preservation.  This only allows us to exist in this life.  It doesn't allow us to thrive.  Being pro-life isn't just about preserving the baby's life, it's about uplifting the mother and father's lives.  We are ALL precious in God's eyes.  Saying yes to life, often means tremendous suffering.  We can't sugar coat or deny that.  But how can you help a teen who is pregnant and does not have the support of her parents, boyfriend, or friends?  How do we support, guide, and help her in her sufferings and difficulties?  What does it mean for the abortion clinic worker who's had a conversion and leaves behind their long held identity, friends, and livelihood?  What does it mean for all the other men and women in impossibly difficult circumstances?  It means we have to continue to up our game and spread the word that life, all life is sacred.  We have to acknowledge that we must be ready to love willing those men and women who've had or encouraged others to have abortions.  We must pray for them.  We must breathe life and light into their souls.  Each of us has unique talents and gifts.  We are challenged to use those gifts not only save lives, but to help hurting men and women know that no matter the circumstances, they are supported, loved and have hope for the future.  Make no mistake, evil is present in this world.  Satan fights tooth and nail to trap us all in our own sinfulness.

 “I willingly believe that the damned are, in one sense, successful, rebels to the end; that the doors of hell are locked on the inside." C S Lewis
     Changing hearts changes minds. Which in turn, changes lives.  If Christ can say from the cross, "forgive them Father, for they know not what they do", can we do less?  This is not to deny the grave nature of the sin of abortion.  It is simply bringing the light of Christ into one of the darkest moments a person can experience.  I know this is a lot to digest and I am going to write a few more articles surrounding this painful topic.  I just want to leave you with some links to resources if you know someone who is suffering because of abortion.  The first is Ramah International. 
The second is Rachel's Vineyard.   God bless you on this journey.

I've just have average kids

     Pressure.  Oh the pressure of excelling.  This is one of those blogs postings where I'm really just thinking out loud.  I mean, you all want to know what random thoughts my mind processes. Right?   I fall into the trap just as easily as the next person.  It's not just the pressure to excel at one thing, it's the pressure to excel in everything.  It's the idea that in order to be well rounded individuals and be successful adults, our kids must be involved in a gazillion different activities.  Not just to be doing a wide variety of things, but to be excelling at each of them.  If they are not being constantly stimulated and pushed we're not doing our job.  If we're not raising the next Mozart, Picasso, Michael Phelps, Anna Pavlova, or Frank Lloyd Wright we must be failing as parents.  I admit it, I'm guilty.  The little jealous side of me when I hear a family talk about how all their kids play an instrument, are on the swim team, do art class two times a week, some type of scouts or group activity, horse back riding, acting and the odd interspersed activities to make sure their kids are exposed to everything.  I mean why would we want our kids to miss out on anything.
     All those things are fun and provide good and educational experiences.  Who wants to say no to good things.  Definitely not me.  I wonder how good it is though?  What if money was no obstacle and the world was a buffet of activities and experiences for the taking?  I mean are the kids of families with schedules jam packed of experiences any better off than the kids who might have one or two activities a week?  What about family time?  Is there time to build a relationship with our kids, or is most of out time spent together in frustration getting from one place to the next.  Are we fostering a quiet spirit in our kids?  A spirit that is silent enough to listen instead of being in constant chaos and distraction.  The school of silence is where we are open to hearing God.  If we have nothing but constant noise and distraction in our life will we ever hear Him?  How do we combat a consumer mentality.  The attitude that I must have it and I must have it right now.  Moderation, discernment, what's that?  We all want our kids to have the best.  What if the "best" we give is doing more harm than good?  What if instead of fostering an attitude of thankfulness and gratitude, we're fostering an attitude of entitlement and false expectation? 
     These are really important questions I think every family must ask.  Kids by their very nature are more prone to flit float from one thing to the next.  To be passionate about music lessons one week only to despise them the next.  They hear about such and such activity their friend is now doing and they want to do it too.  It's so easy to think we're ruining our kids chances of a happy, filled childhood because they are missing out.  We certainly can find a way and the means to squeeze in one more thing.  Really when it comes down to it our kids will value what we value and mirror us whether we want them to or not.  What do we want them to value?  What do we want them to mirror?  When we strive at being mediocre at many things we never truly have the discipline to master anything.
     The school year is coming to a close and I'm already thinking about the fall.  I'm going to be asking myself these very same questions in the coming weeks.  What do I want my children to love and value?  Is what I'm giving them and what they are involved in encouraging them to love and value the proper things or is it just more noise, busyness, and distraction?  What are our non-negotiables and why?  I'll readily admit, I don't have any prodigies among my crew.  They are all have own unique talents and gifts.  God gave them those talents and gifts and it's up to me to encourage their proper use and place.  The most important thing for them to remember is that they may be "average" in the eyes of the world, but they are extraordinary in the eyes of God.  I guess everything else stems from that realization.  As much as I love them, God love them far greater.  I'd love to hear your thoughts and insights.  We're all in this together. Right? God, bless you on this journey.