Speaking the Language of Virtue with Your Kids

 "A virtue is an habitual and firm disposition to do the
good. It allows the person not only to perform good acts,
but to give the best of himself. The virtuous person tends
toward the good with all his sensory and spiritual powers;
he pursues the good and chooses it in concrete actions."(Catechism of the Catholic Church - 1803)   

     Speaking the language of virtue with our kids makes them more other focused than me focused.  In this season of Advent when we're preparing for the birth of our savior Jesus Christ.  I've really been thinking about virtue and how to impart that on my kids.  I know that we must not just talk the talk, but walk the walk.  I don't think we can get away with one or the other, action always precipitates thought.  Reminding that God gives freely to us, so even if we ourselves have next to nothing, we always have something to give.   The home is the first school of community, what better place to start. 
     We used to learn about people who had strong moral character, now we are flooded with Kim Kardashian and Jersey Shore.  Babies, toddlers, and young children are very self centered, and thank goodness for that.  They need to be to have their needs met.  It's how they learn to trust, individuate and develop into their own little person.  Entering into the preschool years and beyond the language of virtue is so very important.  We are at the ground level of helping to build their characters. 
     Now, this is all coming from the queen of selfishness.  Yes, that would be me.  What, you want water now???  I just sat down to eat my food that is already cold!  Audible sigh, audible sigh, mumble, mumble, mumble.  Sometimes I wonder where I've gone wrong because there is more fighting going on between the kids than between cats and dogs.  Hardly the picture of virtue.  It's crazy isn't it?  To expect perfection from our kids when we're hardly perfect ourselves.  The only perfection we'll achieve, that I know of, is when we are allowed to enter those pearly gates.
     Thank goodness for confession, forgiveness, and most of the time, the chance to make it right.  So when we have kids, we can pretty much be guaranteed to cover the entire gamut of vices and their opposite virtues in a day.  And I'm not just talking about the kids.  So what virtues might we want to impart to our kids.  Well, the list can get extensive but here's a good list to start with.

Humility
Kindness
Forgiveness
Diligence
Charity
Temperance
Chastity 
Sincerity
Perseverance

     So often we hear people say to kids, "So what do you want to be/do when you grow up".  I used to be guilty of this too.  The language of virtue sets a different tone not only with ourselves, but our kids.  It leads us to ask what gifts God has given us?  It leads us to ask what plan does God have for me and the gifts he's given to me?  It leads us to love our neighbor as ourselves.  I think no matter what statistics you hear on the news, kids always look to us as their first and best teachers.  They may not say much as they get older, but believe you me, they sure as heck are watching.  Virtues bring good into a value neutral world.  Give me the virtuous over someone who has "values" any day.
     It starts simple and young.  "Johnny, I know it was so hard for you to give half your cookie to your sister.  I am so proud of you for being so generous and kind."  As our kids get older, the complexity of issues and feelings get bigger.  Values are subjective while virtues are objective.  We want our kids to do and choose the right thing irregardless of their feelings.  There will always come a day when our kids have to choose between doing what is right no matter how humiliating and going along because it's the easier way.  Virtues that have been cultivated over time will help them be able to overcome these challenges.  If they make mistakes, even serious ones, which they are going to do, there are the virtues of humility and forgiveness to heal the wounds.
     We are all works in progress.  I'll probably fail more times than succeed, but I'm going to try my best to speak the language of virtue in my home, and trust God to fill in the gaps.  I'd love to hear your resources and how you've worked to impart virtues in your homes.  Peace be with you and God bless you on this journey.